I have always looked with some discomfort at the verse where Jesus told His followers that becoming His disciple would create a division in our most intimate relationships, even among family members. I never wanted to be in a place where my faith would create familial division, but the Lord said that could be a possibility.

“Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law” (Luke 12: 53).

Over the last 40+ years of serving the Lord, I have seen something emerge from time to time that goes along with that uncomfortable verse. Parents who have lived a committed life to the unchanging truth of Scripture backed away from that commitment to accommodate a child who has decided to follow an errant belief or lifestyle. They allowed the fear of losing a relationship with their child to determine how their faith would be expressed, sometimes violating the very beliefs they once held as sacred. In the end, while they may retain a relationship with their child, they lost something far greater than holding onto a relationship of compromise.

To hold onto truth while navigating through these choices does not mean a parent’s love requires them to take a cold and distant posture against their child. It means love and a commitment to truth must be held as something holy not to be compromised no matter how intimate the relationship is. When faced with situations that deal with the core tenants of a biblical faith or our created identity, it is not an easy path to follow when you are looking into the eyes of someone you love who has chosen to walk a dangerous spiritual path. It requires courage seasoned with tenderness and grace to remain faithful to the truth when the object of your love rejects your choice. This is especially difficult when the relationship is in jeopardy of collapse.

If you are faced with such a situation or you are involved with friends who are struggling with that kind of tension, be wise and patient when you are invited into the healing process. A gentle answer can turn away the wrath expressed when the truth is not abandoned. It also keeps the door open for further dialog. Flippant and premature canned responses uttered out of frustration will shut the door on a relationship, sometimes for a lifetime.

Both sides have much to learn in the process, a process that hopefully never compromises truth, but one that will reveal the tender and patient heart of the Lord. He is willing to walk with the involved parties as long as it takes to bring healing and restoration,  even to the end of life.