In the last few weeks, we have seen what can happen when people don’t want to talk, but instead, bring harm to those with whom they disagree. Having a conversation with people of another opinion can get you killed, as it did with Charlie Kirk. Both sides can have vastly different opinions, but still honor the other person.

Paul wrote, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). The part of that verse that always gets my attention is the “as far as it depends on you” part. A lot of the conversation and the impact it will have on us is up to us. We can respond negatively to someone, and the door to communication will be closed. After 52 years of marriage, I have realized the Lord offers us a chance to keep the door of communication open if we are willing.

As an example, Jan came into our living room one morning this week, where I was sitting in my writing chair. She stood in the doorway wanting to talk. I have learned to discern what Jan’s body language is telling me. It was one of those times when a wise husband will give his wife all the audience she desires. I tried to mask what I really wanted to do, to continue reading what I had been reading, before Jan came into our living room and wanted to talk.

For the next few minutes, I sat in my chair and listened. Jan went from one topic to another, and just when I thought she was coming to a conclusion, she put in a conversational comma in the conversation and introduced yet another topic. I sat silently and listened. I listened and hoped she was running out of commas. During Jan’s conversation, I did not speak, but nodded and smiled.

As she continued to stand in the doorway and the next comma was about to be introduced, I said, “I am your punctuation mark. I am bringing a period to this conversation.” I smiled at her as I spoke, and then we both broke out in laughter – the kind of loud and unhinged kind of laughing where someone’s funny bone is hit and you can’t stop laughing.

Seeing Jan’s laughter, I soon followed her example. We both began to laugh and shared the moment together. The neighbors must have thought we had lost our minds from all the ruckus we were creating with our laughter.

Later, Jan said, “I knew you wanted to keep reading, but I needed to talk.” After all our years of marriage, I have come to realize what I need to do without having to ask my wife. These responses become instinctive in a marriage relationship where two are one. It gives the other person an audience so that their opinion is not disrespected. It also disciplines a hearer to wait patiently until all has been said that needed to be said.

Perhaps we need a marriage to take place in our nation, and within some elements within the Church. It would be a social marriage where people are willing to listen to each other and not allow their emotions to dictate their actions.

After our morning conversation, our sense of humor continued to manifest throughout the morning when I would hear Jan still laughing at my “period” comment. We can’t live that way if we think what we have to say or want to do is more important than the peace that is possible when two people can listen to each other and allow God’s Spirit, not their emotions, to determine how they will respond.