When people are grieving and suffering, especially someone who has loved God and served Him, our most valuable contribution is silence as we stand with them in their place of pain. Feeling the to speak a “could of-should of” kind of word is the last thing they need to hear. Our silent presence will say far more than offering a lecture that is not always based on fact but will come across as condemnation heaping more weight on their already over-burdened shoulders.

As a list of Job’s friends saw him suffering, they lined up to tell him what to do with his life. The first of these friends was a man named Eliphaz. He had a lot to say but none of it helped. Job responded to Eliphaz “Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One” (Job 6: 10). The proof that Job was still a man of God was revealed by his continued faith in God even though he could not fully explain the reason why he was suffering.

It was Job’s turn to speak. He challenged the remarks of his friend saying, “One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty” (vs. 14). What Job was alluding to was the fact that God takes seriously what we say to a suffering friend. What we say will have a consequence with the Lord. We need to be careful what we speak.

Job then addressed all his friends waiting to add their two cents worth of advice, “You have proved as unreliable as a seasonal brook” (vs. 15). In other words when a friend is in pain and needs a drink of refreshing hope-filled water, our words will sound like a dry streambed to a dying person. “You have given no help” (vs. 21). Finally, Job said, “Stop assuming my guilt” (vs. 29).

Job’s friends were searching for Job’s guilt to explain why God would allow such a fate to afflict him. Our need to find answers for another person’s suffering can be an attempt to remove us from a similar fate. We want cut-and-dry answers to questions not so cut-and-dry. What should have been a season of silence becomes a noisy and unwanted display of our fears. They do little to help an afflicted friend.