I continue to see a sad reality taking place again and again in the lives of believers, mine included. It is the need to control. It’s not how long we have “walked with the Lord” or what position we hold within the Church that determines our spiritual maturity. It is our willingness to let go of our need to control people and outcomes that if not handled with integrity will create division in the Church and cripple our most intimate relationships. That willingness is the evidence of our maturity.

When we try to control anything, a relationship with a friend or spouse or the ministry of a local church, that need to exercise control will produce death by strangulation of our love. If we are not daily dying to the need to exercise control, we will resort to tactics that are out of character for a follower of Jesus Christ.

A manifestation of control is especially unseemly when we have declared and promised to release our need to control, but in a moment of uncertainty resort back to controlling behavior to get our way. The most beautiful times in a marriage or ministry are when Jesus is in control of outcomes. The way we align ourselves with God’s heart in times of fear and uncertainty is to die to ourselves so that His will can take place. This is especially challenging if we don’t like or understand what is taking place.

Dying to self and trusting God has fallen out of favor with some believers because it appears weak when we feel action, not submission, is what defines our faith.  If our need to control situations has remained hidden under a position of authority, a title, or the maintenance of a false peace, a time of personal crisis will reveal our true colors when those controls begin to fall apart. The Lord has miracles of healing, provision, and restoration waiting for those willing to let go of their demands for control so that others may live in freedom. That choice is the way of the Cross and it will always lead to a resurrection.