On a brief trip, I bumped into someone on a city street I had not seen in many years. For a short time, she had attended one of the churches Jan and I pastored.
From her appearance, it seemed the intervening years had been challenging. Immediately after our greeting, she declared her disappointment with several churches she had visited. She said, “I no longer go to church. I am tired of all the judgment. I’m done with it.”
As she spoke further, it was clear that her disappointment and anger had turned to unchecked disrespect for any community of faith. She held firm that what she was experiencing was the Church’s problem. She did not realize that the only constant in her story was her. She, too, was the Church. And she had taken her judgment with her wherever she went and with whomever she met.
I wanted to sit down with her and speak to her like a father would to a daughter, but she was in a hurry, and her defensiveness would not allow me in at that moment.
I wanted to tell her not to give up on Jesus. He feels the hurt, rejection, and even betrayal she was experiencing—a pain sourced in a much deeper place than current events.
I wanted to gently tell her that a recurring pattern was emerging. She had allowed her negative judgment of imperfect people to affect her decision-making process and her view of God.
I wanted to tell her she was being harmed, even enslaved to her judgment. She had allowed herself to become bitter.
I wanted to tell her that Jesus had given her the gift of mercy so that she could be free – free to judge her own heart. Free to receive His forgiveness. Free to give what she received from Jesus—mercy and forgiveness.
I wanted to tell her that if she chose to forgive, she would see the path of life that Jesus wanted her to take, a path that would bless her and her family.
I wanted to tell her not to give up on the very people Jesus loves and died for. Just as He doesn’t give up on her.
Unforgiveness creates an ever-growing cycle of bitterness. Bitterness opens the door to demonic influence and its sad consequences.
Paul wrote about bitterness and forgiveness, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31).
When we parted ways, the one thing I could do was pray for her. It was a simple prayer – “Lord, reveal yourself to her.” I don’t take that prayer lightly. I’ve seen Jesus answer that prayer in powerful ways when they encountered Jesus. Only an encounter with Him can free someone and help them forgive those they had previously written off.
To show mercy is to receive mercy. James wrote, “Remember that judgment shows no mercy to the one who judges others without mercy. So, by showing mercy, you take dominion over judgment” (James 2:13).
Good word, sad for the the gal you met. Praying too that she has an encounter with Jesus that shows her his love.
A great phrase from our pastors sermon this Sunday. “Forgiveness not only makes God happy, it makes you healthy.”
HUGGZSSS to you and Jan!
Nita