I’ve noticed some followers of Christ exhibit a passive-aggressive attitude when they attempt to bring correction to those who hold an opposing view. Passive aggression is an indirect expression of resistance toward another person.  They want to look and sound spiritual, but the fruit of their attitude reveals unresolved issues still at play in their lives. Somewhere along the path of passive aggression, if their spiritual character is not resting in Christ, they will eventually depart from that form of aggression and become openly hostile.

We need to understand how to live with aggressive people and not allow their disagreements with us to form attitudes and judgments in us that violate the mission and principles of God’s Kingdom. There are certain hallmarks of those who represent the Lord when they encounter passive-aggressive people. Paul gave Timothy the following instructions on how to respond to such challenges.

THEY AVOID ARGUMENTS: “Don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights” (II Timothy 2:23). Avoiding arguments is a choice we need to make or human emotion, not the Spirit, will lead us into unnecessary places of turmoil and conflict.

THEY ARE KIND: “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone” (vs. 24). Looking for a fight will always produce a fight. Looking for peace without compromising God’s truth makes Godly peace possible.

THEY ARE PATIENT WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE:” Be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth” (vs. 24: 25). When emotions are high, we should continue to exhibit patience, gently instructing those who oppose the truth.

THEY ARE PATIENT: “Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth” (vs. 25). They are willing to wait for God’s timing to change people and not grow impatient in the process.

THEY SET CAPTIVES FREE: “Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants” (vs. 25-26). Knowing a person is held captive should create a compassionate response because we realize those being held captive are imprisoned by deception. 

Paul began his instruction to Timothy on how to deal with passive-aggressive people with this goal in mind, “Pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace” (vs. 22). This attitude should be our attitude when we encounter passive-aggressive people in the Church. It will produce far more benefits than participating in foolish and ignorant arguments. It is worth the effort to become this kind of person because it will produce in our relationships the kind of results that will honor the Lord.