Perhaps it’s our age, but Jan and I are praying for the time when one of us dies and the other is left alone. After 51 years of marriage, we have become so one in the Spirit that it will be impossible, in human terms, to process that time and the emotional loss the event will create.

As we pray for that time, we realize a special grace will be available for the one who lives on, something we cannot imagine until the time of loss arrives.  It will be a gift from the Lord. While we understand that the death and resurrection of Jesus have conquered the power of death, we will still be left with the emotional loss of our spouse and have to face decisions on how to make life work when we are left alone.

The writer of Hebrews tells us, “Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death” (Hebrews 2:14).  A fear of death is a work of the devil. Jesus broke the power of death and invited all of us to live our lives free from its imprisonment.

The following verse tells us what will happen when we understand what Jesus did for us. It’s a verse that offers clarity of what happens to us when fear no longer rules our thinking, “Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying” (vs.15).

Jan and I have realistic concerns when one of us leaves this world. That is not a fear-based understanding. It is simply the logistics of living life alone.

We all will die someday. In the meantime, we have an opportunity to remove from our thinking a fear of death that can imprison us behind the bars of fear-motivated ways of living. This is not a morbid process. It builds our faith and has us focus on a coming grace that will surround us and protect us when we are alone.

Jan or I will weep when one of us passes because the loss will be immeasurable, but we know we have been united with Christ in both life and death. On our headstone, something we had made to save our kids from the hassle of our passing, it reads, “together in His presence.”

Those four words of our epitaph have guided our thinking as our appointment with eternity approaches. That understanding has been formed by the promise of God’s amazing grace that will come when we need it most to help us mourn, never as slaves, but as two people who will live forever, together in God’s presence.