When discussing a husband-wife relationship, we can fail to understand the full context of Paul’s writing regarding what it means to have a healthy marriage.  Some will quote Paul commanding that a wife must submit without question to their husband. They have this opinion thinking the wife is the only one doing the submitting. They leave out the previous verse that sets the stage for understanding what true submission looks like and what it means to live a mutually submitted life: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Submission is never one-sided. It includes everyone.

Submission is something required in all our relationships. Submitting is not a silent submission. It means to offer up – to submit -to the other person what is needed for the relationship to prosper. It involves a shared decision-making process. Without allowing the other person to submit their needed insight, we will isolate and eventually wound our spouse. A marriage that lacks a shared submission is a spiritually crippled relationship.

Paul went beyond verse 21 to give examples of what a submitted life looks like in other contexts:

Wives must submit to their husbands.

Husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the Church.

Children must honor their parents.

Slaves must serve their masters with respect.

Masters must not forget that we all serve the same Master.

Understanding the power of mutual submission in all our relationships prevents the pride of spiritual superiority from leading the way. Our willingness to love God in marriage and any other relationship happens because we see the other person as our equal in the eyes of God.