Some of the imbalance you are feeling could be God applying the brakes on your self-effort and worry. It’s like sitting in a car when someone uses the brakes to avoid a crash, and you are thrown forward under the force of deacceleration. Not everything in God’s Kingdom is about acceleration. There are times when God will slow us down to protect us, so we don’t collide with things in our lane of travel that are not God’s best for our life.