(“Thoughts I Want To Leave Behind” is a collection of thoughts and impressions I want to leave behind as I begin to make my final pastoral transition.)

#15 Take Your Spouse With You

Every life in ministry is a journey.  If you are married, the journey is a journey of two people – not one.  The isolated prophet who “hears God” then drags their spouse forward in reluctance is not the image of a healthy relationship.

A wise pastor once told me, “The real test of your leadership will come many years from now when we look at your wife.  If she still has a beautiful soul and is growing in that beauty, you will have become a good leader.” That same wise leader also said, “Before you begin your journey as a pastor, ask your wife what she wants to do and how involved she wants to be.  That is her decision, not a decision the church should make for her. Spend the rest of your time in ministry supporting her decision.” This truth also applies if you are a woman whose ministry is more visible than your husband.

The beauty of this way of life is that it doesn’t feel forced. Neither spouse has to be what other people demand of them – they can simply be the person God has called them to be.  The discovery of this freedom is dangerous to the kingdom of darkness. When you choose to include your spouse and let him or her step into their unique God-assigned path and walk beside you in freedom, you will find 10,000 fleeing before you as a couple when on your best day as a solo act you could only frighten 1,000.