“Giving with Honor and Compassion” by Garris Elkins

by | Oct 24, 2013 | Faith, Family, Father, Giving, Trust | 0 comments

As a boy, I enjoyed getting into my father’s Chevy pickup
truck and driving into town.  During
these trips I would watch my father and learn about life. Most of these trips
would involve a lunch where we sat at a counter on stools laughing and talking.

On one of these trips, as we walked along the sidewalks of
downtown San Jose, California, I noticed a man who we would be described today as
homeless.  He was dressed in clothes that
appeared tired from living in them as his primary shelter. The man looked down at the street not trying
to catch anyone’s eye. He looked lost, tired and hungry.

I noticed my father pull a $5.00 bill out from his wallet
while he was still a long way off from where the man was standing. Dad then crumbled the bill up in a small wad
and put it back in his pocket. We began
to walk once again and when we passed the man, dad reached into his pocket
pretending to get something and allowed the crumpled bill to fall out within
sight of the man.

When I saw the bill, I started to tell my dad that he
dropped the bill and he gently told me to be quiet. A few blocks down the road I had to ask my
father what had just taken place.

Dad went on to tell me that he didn’t want to put the man on
the spot and embarrass him. I knew my
father’s personal story of living through the Great Depression and having to
leave home and hop freight trains, crossing America looking for work. He said it was hard for a man to beg.

When we walked past him, the man bent over and picked up the
crumpled bill and looked at dad. Men who have walked through tough times have a
way of communicating that the rest of us don’t understand. That day my dad said, by his actions, that he
saw the man’s need and wanted to give without making the man feel less and
without making a show of what he had done.

I love that part of my father’s life. He was able to see the need of others with
eyes of compassion and understanding. Watching how my father dealt with the man’s need taught me something.  

That day, I learned my first lesson about honor in giving.
There are times I give when the giving makes me feel good about myself. This kind of giving is usually more
public. Others see it and think more of
me. With that wadded up $5.00 bill, my father taught me to give in secret in a
way that does not put the one in need in a demeaning place. 

Many years later, I would find myself giving to people in a
similar fashion because I saw this kind of giving first exampled to me by my

As a young police detective, God radically touched my
life. When that personal Pentecost took
place, I found myself weeping for several weeks at the forgiveness of God that
had been extended to me.  

The first thing I wanted to do was give.  I wanted to give back to life the joy I was
experiencing in God’s love. One day, as
I drove my unmarked detective vehicle through a poor section of town, I was
drawn to a certain house. The house
looked and felt like the man on the street the day my father “dropped” his
$5.00 bill. It was tired, dirty and

Looking at the house, I began to weep. My tears were tears from the heart of someone
who had just been forgiven by God. I was
compelled to express my love of God in some tangible way.

I drove to a local supermarket and filled two grocery bags
with food and drove back to the house. Looking around to make sure no one was near, I walked across the street
and placed the two bags of groceries on the porch. I then pounded loudly on the door, rang the doorbell
and ran back to my car where I sat and waited in hiding.

In a few moments the front door opened and a little boy
appeared. He looked around then looked
down into the bags. A huge grin spread
across his little face. He turned to
speak to someone inside the house to come outside. The person who met him on
the porch, I assumed, was his mother. Together, with joy on their faces, they picked up the bags and went back

They couldn’t see me as I sat parked across the street. A police detective knows how to remain
hidden. What I could not hide that day
were the tears of joy streaming down my face watching the mother and son pick
up the bags of food. 

Later, when I gained my composure, I thought of my dad and
the lesson he taught me about giving in compassionate and honoring ways. The day I gave those two bags of groceries, I
was giving them as a man who had just been forgiven for much. I was living with the stark realization of my
own need and this has helped me to see the need of others with eyes of
compassion and honor.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.