Forgiveness is a challenging process. It is challenging because it can appear incomplete when it is granted. The greatest challenge in the act of forgiveness comes when the condition of our hearts is revealed. We want those we consider guilty to suffer to the degree of our disgust and offense. We want the victims to be recompensed according to our measure of what we consider justice. No process of forgiveness between human beings is ever perfect because imperfect people are involved.
In the eyes of God, an offer of forgiveness is beyond perfect, it is beautiful. It is beautiful to Him whenever we choose to live in harmony with each other, especially when we did not achieve our desired outcome.
Once we choose to forgive, at times through gritted teeth, our next task is to harness our emotions and demand they submit to the will of God. We do this by actively choosing to heal and repair the conditions that led us to a place where forgiveness was required. Not making that choice will deaden our souls, harden our hearts and make it difficult for us to hear the whispers of God’s Spirit.
I struggle with this. a (former) dear friend, worship leader in the church turns out to be a child abuser – sexual. I met him at the time I was divorcing my 1st husband for sexually abusing our daughter (about 25 years ago). I thought I’d come to terms with forgiveness. I’ve seen God’s restoration in my life, and although I believe my daughter is still in denial. she says she’s forgiven her dad and chooses not to remember those times. I can only control how I respond. I believe I’ve forgiven my ex. He owes me nothing; God has provided/restored everything. Amazing as I realized the goodness of God. I do not socialize with my ex except for weddings of our 2 kids, grandkids, and have no trouble being civil. I can forgive – but forgiveness doesn’t mean I need to stay connected to him.
That’s the background I come with when asking this question. This weekend there will be a church reunion and I will see this worship leader who has now ruined 2 families; his own children (25 years ago and lied about it), then his 2nd wife’s children and grandchildren; his 2nd wife is my friend. Now he’s latched onto a widowed lady and her son in his church. It appears because he stepped away from his leadership role at church for 2 years, he’s now been recently reinstated ‘because he’d served his time’, but there’s no change in behavior.
i’m broken and hurt at the loss of a dear friend because of the lies and harm he’s caused and continues in that way. How do I respond when I see him this weekend? I have not spoken to him for at least 3 years.
I’ve just recently come across your Facebook posts and enjoy reading them and sharing them because I believe they speak the truth simply – which is a great gift you’ve been given.
Amen! Beautifully said ❣️