Like all marriages, ours has changed over time. When Jan and I went on our first date how we related to each other was very different from what we now have after almost 50 years of marriage. We are more comfortable in our relational skin. Things we never considered important as young kids just starting out concern us now for good reason and some of what concerned us then are now no big deal.
There are times when Jan will laugh at something I am doing. It is a loving challenge contained within a chuckle she offers when I am trying to get away with something. Jan’s look and her chuckle rein me returning me to reality. I love that about her. There are times when a laugh and a smile are the best kinds of correction. It’s not mocking. It is a look and sound that says with love, “Yeah, right!” Her expression of love makes me want to be a better man. Mercy and grace are powerful things to experience. They empower and motivate our desire to adjust our behavior.
I think of how Jesus must have dealt with His disciples on those occasions when they tried to get away with something or when they gave off the impression they had it all together. In those cases, I think Jesus chuckled at their foolishness. I can hear the chuckle of Jesus in Jan’s laughter when I slip back into my boyish ways and a loving challenge is in order.
Jesus never dismissively chuckled about serious issues that lead His followers toward sad and destructive behavior. He told the truth straight up and without any varnish. He knew the difference between the two responses. That knowledge led to a place of trust and a willingness to change in the hearts of His disciples.
In a healthy relationship, whether it is a friendship, a marriage, or any place where life is lived honestly, it is important to know the difference and what response to choose at the appropriate moment. It’s what keeps a religious spirit at bay and keeps love alive in all our relationships.
Thank you Garris for this intimate post. Blessings to you and Jan and your earthly family. Your heavenly family nods a yes and smiles at this post.