As a young pastor, I listened to how wise and experienced leaders would respond to their critics. The leaders who impacted me the most were those able to address their critics with a blend of both wisdom and grace. Unless a person lives as a hermit in an isolated cave, any interaction with other human beings will occasionally bring criticism. How we respond will reveal a lot about our character.

One of the wisest and most gracious responses to criticism I ever heard was hearing one of my mentors address a fellow pastor in a public meeting who challenged his integrity regarding a point he made. My mentor responded to the ill-informed criticism with “I’m sorry that’s all you can see.” 

When I heard the critic speak my first response was, he either didn’t understand the subject he is criticizing, or he wanted to use the moment to create a platform for him to be seen and heard. What his public display of dishonor did was make him look foolish in front of his peers.

After my mentor spoke, the room went silent. He never allowed himself to enter a public debate with his critic or try to defend himself with some labored self-protecting defensive rebuttal.  It was like what Jesus did when answering His critics. He did the unexpected. My mentor responded with the wisdom of Proverbs 26:5 “Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.” 

These wise responses are not pre-packaged and are held in reserve like a winning card in a card game to play at just the right time. They are offered by the Spirit on the spot for those who are willing to wait and listen before they respond. It was the pause between the criticism of a fool and my mentor’s response that let me know he was listening before he responded. He was listening for the kind of response that would silence a fool and open the door to see wisdom displayed, especially for those of us still learning how to lead and were not sure how to navigate that very tense situation. 

I’m not sure the critical pastor ever learned a lesson. The rest of us did. To this day, I still hear my mentor’s words when critics become vocal, and at times, angry wanting to make a point they might not fully understand. In those moments I try to remember to pause and listen for the Lord’s direction on what to say, or if He asks me, to remain silent.