There are times when two people experience something so challenging that in order to move forward each of them will need to agree to lay down their shared history without demanding anything from the other person. This is not ignoring what took place rather it is realizing that a confusing past can be too intertwined and bound up in mutual pain to be separated. Only God can unravel some things.
After you lay down your history, somewhere in the future God will bring up some of the hurtful things that took place. He brings these things to your attention because not dealing with this part of your history will eventually inhibit your forward progress. God doesn’t do this to punish you or the other person. He never shames His children into obedience. He brings things to the light to begin the process of unraveling a confusing past and give you the hope of a final and personal resolution. God will be able to do this because in the process of healing you will have experienced a new level of humility. This humility is both a release and an embrace. You will know your personal healing has begun when you find yourself pursuing the will of God more than pursuing your need to have things work out the way you had planned.